Secret drinking usually arises from feelings of shame, guilt, or fear of judgment. When someone begins to hide their alcohol consumption, it may be because they sense that their behavior is unacceptable or that it conflicts with their personal values or social expectations. This secrecy can also be an attempt to avoid conflict with loved ones or to maintain a façade of control and normalcy.
Often, secret drinking becomes a way to mask underlying issues such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or unresolved emotional pain. Individuals may use alcohol as a coping mechanism to numb uncomfortable feelings or escape stress.
It’s also important to know how much someone drinks on average, so you can identify if their habits are concerning.
If someone you care about is secretly drinking, you may notice changes in their behavior and mood. The signs of a drinking problem vary depending on the person’s situation, but there are common warning signs of alcohol abuse that can be identified in anyone. Since alcohol abuse is often accompanied by other negative behaviors, such as abuse of prescription medications, illicit drugs, and/or poor diet and exercise habits, these can also signal a problem. And if someone is drinking but not engaging in other unhealthy behaviors, then this may suggest that their drinking is a problem.
Drinking in secret alone is not necessarily a diagnosis, but when combined with other behaviors and consequences, it may point toward alcohol use disorder (AUD) or problematic drinking. Some warning signs include:
Secret drinking is often a warning sign that someone is struggling with their alcohol use in ways that may not be immediately visible to others. It can lead to escalating addiction, health complications, and severe disruptions in personal and professional life if left unaddressed.
The secrecy itself can create a barrier to seeking help, as shame and denial often prevent individuals from being open about their struggles. Early notice of its underlying causes can lead to timely intervention and support, increasing the chances of successful recovery.
Secret drinking can have profound and often hidden effects on an individual’s mental health. When alcohol use is concealed, it typically reflects underlying struggles that may worsen over time if left unaddressed.
Hiding alcohol consumption often leads to heightened anxiety and stress. The fear of being discovered or the guilt associated with secret drinking creates constant mental pressure, exacerbating emotional distress.
Secret drinking can cause individuals to withdraw from family, friends, and social activities. This isolation can deepen feelings of loneliness and exacerbate symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Concealing drinking habits often stems from shame, which can hamper self-esteem. This negative self-perception makes it difficult for individuals to seek help or openly discuss their struggles.
Many who engage in secret drinking may also suffer from co-occurring mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD. Alcohol can worsen these conditions, creating a cycle of mental health issues and increased substance use.
Chronic secret drinking can impair cognitive functions such as memory, concentration, and decision-making, impacting daily functioning and emotional regulation.
The secrecy surrounding alcohol use can prevent individuals from accessing support and treatment. Denial and hiding delay intervention, making recovery more difficult and long-term mental health challenges.
If you notice secret drinking in yourself or someone close to you, it’s important to approach the situation with compassion and care:
When you drink too much, it can quickly become a problem. Drinking in secret is often a sign that someone has an alcohol use disorder (AUD). An AUD is a chronic disease that is also sometimes called “high-risk drinking” or “at-risk drinking.” Approximately 14.5 million people in the United States suffer from alcohol use disorder. People who have an AUD typically drink more than most healthy adults and experience negative consequences as a result of their drinking. A person who drinks in secret may have an AUD and therefore risk the health of themselves, friends, family members, and even strangers. Drinking secretly is not something to be embarrassed about but rather something that should be taken as a sign to seek professional help for an alcohol use disorder.
If you notice any of these signs that someone is secretly drinking, try not to judge. Remember that judgment and criticism will only push someone away from getting help. Instead, try to be supportive and understanding. Be sure to let the person know that you care about their health and well-being, and that you want to help them find support they may not know they need.
Find out if they’ve been diagnosed with a mood disorder, such as depression or anxiety, and if they’re taking medication for the condition. Learning about their unique situation and circumstances may help you understand why they’ve been secretly drinking. For instance, some people with mood disorders, especially anxiety, may self-medicate with alcohol. If you think a loved one secretly drinks alcohol, you can help them by showing them compassion and support, and encouraging them to get help. Don’t judge or criticize their drinking — this will only push them away.
Encourage your loved one to enroll in a sober living program. You could save their life. In a sober living home, residents live in sober environments where they are unlikely to encounter triggers. If they feel a compulsion to drink, they will have a strong support system to fall back on. Moreover, residents work daily with each other and with staff members to develop new skills and a new sober way of life. Residents of sober living homes are far less likely to relapse even years afterwards. If you are ready to get help for yourself or your loved one, reach out to Bridges Sober Living Apartments today!
NIDA. 2023, March 9. Treatment and Recovery. Retrieved from https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/treatment-recovery.
Harvard Medical School. 2021, February 15. Protect your brain from stress. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/protect-your-brain-from-stress
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. N.d. Recovery and Recovery Support. Retrieved on 2023, May 24 from https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/recovery